I’m not really a public speaker in any sense of the word, but fortunately, in this world of technology, I do not have to be. In the last meeting of the Aluminium Appreciation Society, I was made Aluminium Appreciator of the Month, and my reward was a shiny trophy (made from aluminium) and also the opportunity to give a speech at the next meeting.
It’s not that I don’t KNOW stuff about aluminium, because you don’t win an award this prestigious by slacking off. I can tell you the very best types of roof racks and bars, or where to get your next toolbox that’ll last through every job and every type of weather. But…it’s the speech. How am I supposed to speak for seven to ten minutes, in front of people I know well?
A speech generator, that’s how. They’re all over the place on the net, and for a very modest fee you can just key in a whole bunch of phrases and it’ll make a speech for you. Well…that’s the idea. The actual generators have been mixed so far, mainly because I lied about the modest fee thing and I’ve just been going for the free ones. I know that I want to talk about the importance of installing roof racks and bars in the correct fashion that will secure your load, but the speech generators just…they just don’t seem to get it. One of them came up with something that gave an impassioned please to help children in the third-world who don’t have gas bottle holders. Another one said that you can achieve your dreams, if you just trust in tool box central locking, and meditate on the power of aluminium toolboxes. Alright, so…generic ‘believe in yourself’ speeches do seem to be what’s most common. Do I have to actually PAY for a speech that makes sense? I could’ve used the time I’ve currently spent on this to actually just…write a speech myself. Maybe I will. Maybe the easy way out…is sometimes the hard way out.
Oh yeah, that’s good material.
-Roy