The Australian Empire?

Icy cool air con. Sounds good right?

Let me tell you, air con is the reason for the decline of…hang on, just let me check which ancient civilisation was probably the hottest…okay, the Persian Empire. Definitely, because they’re right there on the equator with them being in the ancient Middle East and all. Obviously the whole empire fell because they were really hot in their heavy suits or armour, done, dusted, essay finished, goodbye.

Just need to stretch that into a few more words, but that’s pretty much been my entire university career, so no problems there. Maybe I’ll tie in some product placement from companies in Toorak servicing air conditioning and I’ll be golden. Our tutor seems to really like that sort of thing, so I’ll make sure to add in a lot of it. Got to support those local businesses, right?

Makes me wonder how the great empire of Australia would fall if we didn’t have any air conditioning. Not that it’s much of an empire; just one gigantic island and one very much smaller one. Still, in ancient empire terms, the island of Australia is a pretty nice one to add to the old collection, am I right?

So we have this great empire, lead by Emperor Morrison (for the moment), but all of a sudden on day we don’t have air con…and I’m pretty sure we’re looking at total societal collapse within a couple of hours. Tasmania will last longer, and all the people in Darwin and Brisbane will SAY that they’re fine and we’re all being babies because that’s just what they do, but they’ll still die at the same rate because it’s all chatter. No air conditioning services, no society. We’ve made it our bedrock, for better or worse.

So next time you see a friendly guy doing air conditioning installation in Brighton, thank them for stopping all you know and love for falling into total anarchy. It’s really decent of them.