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Lunar Flowers

One thing people seem to be forgetting for our glorious emigration to the moon is…flowers. Plants in general are important, which is why we’ll have our bio-dome to create oxygen, but no one thinks about the effect that colour has upon a society. It’s exactly the same principle of music, art and culture: remove all …

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Insects Are Lurking

It’s probably quite shocking for hotel owners when I emerge from the shadows, having hidden there for potentially hours after silently stealing my way into their establishment, but it’s important to let them know the chief lesson: this health inspection will not be pleasant. This health inspection will not be kind, or gentle. This health …

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Grans Hair Problems

Going out in public can be pretty dangerous for people like me, not going to lie. I just open my mouth and anything can come flying out. Such are the struggles of a chronic oversharer. Someone gives me change, I just have to comment on the year of the coin. And heaven forbid any poor …

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